I’ve been fostering Roxie for almost a year. Here’s what I think I’ve learned: The good news is, Roxie doesn’t actively dislike humans. She’s come to understand, and perhaps appreciate, the symbiotic relationship between man and cat: we feed her, water her, share our bed with her, provide her with toys, treats, and every comfort known to mankind, and in return, she tolerates our existence - and, on rare occasion, might allow us to pat her head on her way to the food bowl. I don’t believe she is 100% cat: I can’t explain it, but she kinda has possum energy. Don’t get me wrong - she knows how to use the litterbox, she loafs in cat climbers, she can meow (though she usually sticks to a low “wowowow, similar to how the bass line in a barbershop quartet arrangement might sound). But the rest of the time, she seems a little lost, like nobody ever taught her what cats do in their spare time. She really just exists. She’s sort of like a roomba in that way: you buy one expecting a vacuum, but instead, you get this semi-sentient thing that spends most of its time roaming around your house, and occasionally running into walls. Roxie is a pandemic cat - she thrives on a socially distanced lifestyle. She’s very low maintenance in that way: she won’t demand any of your time or attention. In fact, she would prefer that you keep those things to yourself. And since she’s very aware of her own middle child energy, she won’t try to out-alpha you or any existing animals in the house. That’s one of her pluses: if you adopt Roxie, 99% of your life will stay exactly the same. She does not cause problems. She just eats, and then she does whatever Roxie’s do whenever no one is looking, which I haven’t figured out yet. Check back on that one. The #1 most important thing about Roxie is that, despite doing the bare minimum with humans, Roxie will go above and beyond for your pets. She will love the hell out of any existing animals in the house. Never has there been a clingier, more loyal sidekick than Roxie. You should not adopt Roxie as a pet: you should adopt Roxie as a pet for your pets. I’m convinced that she thrives on the presence of other cats because the little robot controlling her brain has behavioral references, but that’s just my theory. Pluses of adopting Roxie: ⁃ You’d gain an incredibly loyal cat for your existing pets ⁃ She’s emotionally unavailable, so the rare occasions she shows affection feel really special ⁃ could be considered your charitable act for the year Cons of adopting Roxie: ⁃ You will feel a spooky chill when she enters the room. Don’t be alarmed, that’s just her disdain for your existence. It will pass. This is a fast-paced world, and Roxie is doing her best to navigate it with lots of social anxiety and a single brain cell. Could you be the person to help her?

Good with Dogs, Good with Cats

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